Redefining Success and Satisfaction (My Story - Part 3)

At the end of the day, the most important lesson I’ve learned is that there is no one right way to live a fulfilling life.

In the final part of this series, we turn to a concept that has transformed how I approach my life: redefining success and satisfaction. As women, we often find ourselves chasing ideals that have been imposed on us by society, our upbringing, or even our own internal expectations. We feel the pressure to “have it all,” to excel in every aspect of life—work, family, relationships, health, and more. But the truth is, the version of success we’ve been taught to pursue often leaves us feeling depleted, unfulfilled, and, at times, like we’re failing. The antidote? Redefining what success and satisfaction truly mean to you.

Let’s dive into how I came to this realization and how embracing a new definition of success can lead to deeper satisfaction in both your personal and professional life.

Letting Go of Perfectionism: The Power of “Good Enough”

One of the most liberating shifts in my mindset has been letting go of perfectionism. For years, I believed that success meant doing everything flawlessly—whether it was excelling at work, being the “perfect” mother, or maintaining an impeccable home. But striving for perfection is a trap. It’s unattainable, and it leaves you feeling like no matter how much you do, it’s never quite enough.

I remember a turning point in my journey to let go of perfectionism. It was a Sunday evening, and I was sitting on the floor of my living room, surrounded by laundry. The boys were playing, and Alex was busy in the kitchen. The house was a mess, I had a long to-do list waiting for me, and I could feel the familiar tug of anxiety creeping in. My old self would have pushed through—folding every piece of laundry perfectly, making sure the house was spotless before bed. But at that moment, something clicked. I realized that no one—no one—cared if the laundry was perfectly folded. What my family cared about was me—being present, being happy, and being there for them.

So, I left the laundry. I let the mess be. And instead, I sat down and played with my boys. That small act of rebellion against perfectionism was a game-changer for me. I realized that “good enough” really was good enough. Life isn’t about ticking off every box on the to-do list or meeting every impossible standard. It’s about finding joy and satisfaction in the imperfect moments.

When you let go of perfectionism, you free yourself to focus on what really matters. You give yourself permission to be human, to make mistakes, and to enjoy life without the constant pressure of trying to be perfect. And ironically, by embracing imperfection, you often find that you’re able to achieve more meaningful success—because you’re not wasting energy on things that don’t really matter.

Redefining Success: What Does It Mean to You?

So, if success isn’t about perfection, what is it about? For me, success has come to mean living a life that is aligned with my values and priorities. It’s about finding balance—not in the sense of dividing my time equally between work and family, but in the sense of knowing when to focus on what matters most in any given moment.

There was a time when I measured success by external markers—job titles, accolades, promotions, and even how well-behaved my kids were. But those measures of success, while satisfying in the short term, didn’t bring lasting fulfillment. I realized that true success comes from within—it’s about how I feel about my life, not how others perceive it.

For example, one of the most important shifts in my definition of success came when I stopped comparing myself to other mothers. It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparison, especially when social media bombards us with images of “perfect” families, “perfect” homes, and “perfect” lives. But those images are curated—they don’t show the messiness, the struggles, or the real-life challenges that we all face.

Instead of measuring my success against someone else’s highlight reel, I started asking myself: What do I want? What makes me feel fulfilled? What brings me joy? The answers to those questions became the foundation of my new definition of success.

For me, success is about having a strong, loving relationship with my husband and children. It’s about building a career that allows me to make a positive impact while still having time for the people I love. It’s about finding moments of joy and peace in the everyday chaos of life. And most importantly, it’s about feeling satisfied with the choices I make.

The Myth of Balance: Prioritizing What Matters Most

One of the biggest misconceptions we face is the idea that we need to balance everything in our lives perfectly. But balance, as it’s traditionally defined, is a myth. Life isn’t a perfectly even scale where we can give equal attention to every area at all times. Instead, life ebbs and flows, and different things will require your focus at different times.

There were periods in my life when my career demanded more of my attention—like when I was building my hospitalist practice at Sequoia or when I became medical director. During those times, work took priority, and I relied heavily on my support network to help with the kids and home life. Other times, family came first—like when I had my boys or when Alex’s work required him to travel frequently. During those times, I scaled back on my professional responsibilities to make space for what mattered most.

The key isn’t to strive for perfect balance; it’s to prioritize what’s important in the moment. And the beauty of this approach is that it allows you to be fully present in whatever you’re doing—whether it’s work, family, or self-care—without the guilt of feeling like you’re neglecting something else.

Choosing Satisfaction Over Success

As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to realize that there’s a difference between success and satisfaction. Success is often external—it’s the achievements, the milestones, the recognition. But satisfaction is internal—it’s the feeling of contentment, of knowing that you’re living a life that feels good to you.

For years, I chased success, thinking that it would bring me happiness. But I’ve learned that success without satisfaction is hollow. You can have all the accolades in the world, but if you’re not satisfied with how you’re living your life, those achievements won’t bring you joy.

Satisfaction comes from making choices that align with your values. It comes from being present in the moments that matter. It comes from letting go of the need to please others or live up to society’s expectations. And it comes from embracing your own unique journey, imperfections and all.

Embracing Your Own Path

At the end of the day, the most important lesson I’ve learned is that there is no one right way to live a fulfilling life. We all have different paths, different priorities, and different definitions of success. What matters most is that you’re living a life that feels true to you.

For me, that has meant embracing a career that allows me to make a difference while also being present for my family. It has meant letting go of perfectionism and allowing myself to be “good enough.” And it has meant surrounding myself with people who lift me up and support my journey.

In redefining success and satisfaction, I’ve found a sense of peace and fulfillment that I didn’t even know was possible. And my hope for you is that you’ll find the courage to do the same—to let go of the expectations that don’t serve you, to embrace your own unique path, and to find joy and satisfaction in the life you’re creating.